Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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