I've blown a few things in my day
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
