Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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