Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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