what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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