Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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