i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
