$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
