nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
