I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
