you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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