My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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