So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you had me at cake vodka
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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