4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
