Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
