But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
