I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's the barista slut.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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