Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
