I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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