And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
