Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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