Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Someone shattered a urinal.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize