Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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