She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
