there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
