yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
