I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
