just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
