Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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