This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
