i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
