I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
