I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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