In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
