It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
