He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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