No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
