Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
