No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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