I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he thought i was a dude.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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