Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
