ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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