I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize