My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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