I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish you could order shots online.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
