he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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