im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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