Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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