Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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