I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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