Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
