I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
