im drinking this country out of the recession.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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