Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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