I wish life had little blips of pornography
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
