All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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