I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
