From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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