OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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