This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
