Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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