Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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